Wednesday 26 November 2014

A good lunch

(Written 1/10/2013. My very good friend, Doctor Chris, emigrated to India some twenty-five years ago. He returns every year to renew his visa and visit his pals. He's a non-executive Director of the Blue Elephant and La Porte Des Indes restaurant chains, and I'm lucky enough to get regular invitations to dine with him at one or other of their London sites.)

To London with Dr Chris today, so that he could pick up his yearly dividend from his part-ownership of the Blue Elephant group http://www.blueelephant.com/
 
Last year, we ate at the new Blue Elephant near Clapham Junction, so this time he'd decided we'd lunch at La Porte Des Indes, close to Marble Arch - http://www.laportedesindes.com/london/
 
We were clearly expected, as the Group Executive Chef was waiting for us in Reception, ready to escort us to the bar. With a couple of pints of Kingfisher in front of us, he briefed Chris on the current state of work on the latest addition to the franchise, La Porte Des Indes Dubai, scheduled to open on December 1st.
 
From there, he handed us over to his wife, the Group Managing Director. She took Chris through developments announced at the last AGM, the profit expectations for the year ahead, then collected the menus we'd been handed and asked if we'd let her order the food - "Let me put a selection together for you. You'll be wanting a bottle of wine?" Yes, a bottle of the house white would be a good idea.
 
This shortly arrived, together with an "amuse-bouche", a tiny pastry containing tilapia and mashed potato, with a fruit chutney and a green herb sauce. Gracious, what a taste explosion it was, an initial blast of spice that threatened to be overpowering but disappeared in seconds, followed by a sweet fruitiness combined with creamy mint. And if I thought that was a remarkable demonstration of the chef's subtle arts, it was as nothing compared to what followed.
 
A large dish of starters was placed before us - a couple of enormous tandoori-roasted prawns, fully eight inches long, two lamb kebabs, two cheesy herbed and spiced concoctions piled on individual biscuits, briefly-grilled scallops in a saffron sauce and a couple of lamb chops marinaded in yoghurt and spices. To accompany the dish, a garlic and shallot naan, and four chutneys, mango, mint, assorted fruit and chilli. The last we were warned to treat carefully, as it was very spicy.
 
The Managing Director popped back to introduce our waitress for lunch, the newly appointed Restaurant Manager. "She'll look after you, now, how's the wine?" In response to Chris' questions about who chooses the house wine (which was very good indeed - but at £28 a bottle it ought to be), it seems that the wine buyer left a few years ago, but not before forging excellent relations with several vineyards that continue to supply the Group. The house white comes from Austria, and apparently the wine-maker's Alsace is even better. Hearing that the "Alsace" is actually a blend of four Alsacian wines, including Gervurztraminer, I ventured that such a wine, with its flinty background, would probably go exceptionally well with spicy food.
 
Recognising a knowledgable dipsomaniac, S said "Oh, then you must try a glass!" Turning to our waitress, she said that there was quite a lot of an open bottle remaining in the kitchen, and to be a dear and fetch it. Thus it was that our wine bill was augmented by most of a £39 bottle. And, gosh, it was good.
 
Folks, you might enjoy a glance at the wine list - http://www.laportedesindes.com/london/indian-restaurant-menu/wines/?level1=35 Please don't take issue with me over the prices, La Porte Des Indes aims itself squarely at the top ten percentile of diners, and prices reflect that.
 
Telling us to get cracking with the lamb chops, as they go a little glutinous when cooling, she left us - but not before saying "As I ordered the food.... you're my guests. There'll be no bill. Enjoy your meal!"
 
Resisting the urge to order three more bottles of wine and a flask of Jack Daniels, I went for my lamb chop. Now, I know some people like their lamb on the pink side... but I would have never been so daring as to serve lamb as pink as this. The centre of the chop was, I swear, raw. And yet... the sixteen chefs who work at La Porte Des Indes are masters, and I trust them. So, into the mouth, chew.... and crikey, so meltingly delicious! All I can say is that they must have absolutely top meat suppliers.
 
The (fully cooked) tandoori prawns were spiced with care, the cheesy/herby/biscuity thing was another mouthfilling riot of flavour, and the lamb kebabs were dense parcels of meaty goodness. The naan had just enough garlic so that you knew it was there, but not so much that it dominated the finely-shredded shallots, and the chutneys added several more dimensions to the starters. The warning regarding the chilli chutney was timely - more than a smear would have been volcanic. I got the firm impression that it would have burst into flames if I'd simply looked at it the wrong way.
 
The wreckage of the first course was cleared away, and then the main course(s) began to arrive. It took three deliveries to the table! By this time, Chris and I had worked out that La Porte Des Indes was doing its very best to show off. There was a pork vindaloo, a dry chilli beef dish, a banana-leaf roasted fillet of cod encased in a caramelised barbecue sauce, spinach cooked with paneer, saffron rice with slivers of nuts, pomegranite raita, green mint sauce and a cheese-filled naan. Everything was exceptional - the cod was cooked to perfection, the pomegranite raita was a revelation, who knew that pomegranite worked so well with yoghurt? - but I have to mention the vindaloo in particular.
 
Fearless Babba is no wimp when it comes to the chilli. In Indonesia he ate gado-gado (oh, look it up) at napalm strength and followed it with a curious fruit salad smothered in a peanut sauce apparently conjured from Satan's own blast furnace. Heat does not bother our boy. No, it is the bitterness of the chilli that spoils the taste of the food he chooses, and that is why his preferred curry strength is "Madras". The vindaloo, the tindaloo, the phal is a step too far... or so I thought.
 
Unquestionably, the pork vindaloo was spicy, spicier than I would choose. And yet, it was politely spicy, building the warm embers so slowly that I hardly noticed when the chimney caught fire. Long-roasted pork enlivened by weapons-strength Goan red chillies, garlic and malt vinegar, oh, man, I loved it. And not a trace of bitterness.
 
Sated beyond imagining, Chris and I sank back and contemplated the empty bottle of white wine. "Another?" he suggested... and someone claiming to be me replied "Um... actually, I think I'm too full." At which, our waitress mentioned that house white was a) available by the glass, b) that nothing would make her life more complete than fetching us two of same and c) we might just as well, as dessert would be a minute or so in arriving. So we did.
 
Dessert, which arrived in a trice, consisted of a pistachio yoghurt, a chocolate mousse in a dried banana leaf parcel and a mango ice-cream complete with chunks of mango. All were sublime.
 
It was suggested that we might prefer to take coffee in the bar - "And a couple of large brandies!" Chris insisted - so, thanking our waitress/Restaurant Manager profusely for the truly fantastic lunch we'd enjoyed, we sank into the comfortable sofas next door, where the Executive Chef dropped in to check that we'd had a good time and that his chefs had properly shown off the finest that La Porte Des Indes could offer. As a couple of goldfish bowls filled with an inch or two of Courvoisier and fitted with stems so that they could masquerade as glasses were placed on the table, we showered him with praise.
 
No question, it was one of the very finest meals I have ever had. Long will it live in my memory.
 
I'd write more, of Dr Chris and I venturing down the Thames to Greenwich, our return, the three large Italian brandies at Carluccio's... but it's getting late. (And I was pissed.)